Thursday, February 4, 2010

On My Heart Today...


Read a post over at my friend blog this morning that just breaks my heart. Nothing gets to me more than a story like this. Please take a moment to go read her post about Anitha and follow up by keeping her in your prayers.


Monday, January 25, 2010

That's A Good Question...

This morning, as I was driving my middle daughter to school, my mind was running wild with my whole to-do list. I was really starting to feel the anxiety rise and I was asking God to help me with it all...

And then He posed a question to me.

"Are you asking Me to help you do it all perfectly? or are you asking Me to help you do your best?"

Wow.
That's a good question.

And then I realized I have been saying the right words for a long time now...
"Lord, help me get everything done that I need to get done" yet there has been the hidden, unspoken tag line of "and help me do it perfectly".

I realized He never promised the strength to complete my to-do list perfectly. He simply promised me the strength (His strength) to tap into to do my best and function in His grace to do it.

Then...I realized I REALLY don't know how to do that.

So, what does it REALLY look like to do all things through Christ??
I'm not asking a theoretical question...I mean in real life, nitty gritty ways...
what does it look like??


Friday, January 15, 2010

Let My Words Be Few...

While I love that song, it doesn't seem to be a great thing to have happen when you write a blog. I have gotten into deep waters in my work load this semester and have already entertained thoughts of just pulling this blog down. But, if nothing else, it will serve me as a journal of sorts later when I am looking back on this season of life.
Right now I am not contemplating issues of ministry as I was several months ago...our church (our first pastorate at that) is finally on the back side of a split that was happening before we even got there...and all I can say is...
Splits are hard.
It was my first...and hopefully my last.
And I tried to not say much on here about all of that...I even had to put my stiff upper lip to action on my own blog...(I can be prone to self pity so it was mostly an act of self control not denial)...
But, now, all that SEEMS to be changing and the atmosphere at our church seems to be positive and hopeful...so I am trying to move from defensive mode to normal mode...
We'll see how that is working this time next year, ok? ;)
Tonight, I will be speaking to our ladies group about my testimony...my battle with depression...etc...and I will probably share a little of this with them...

As far as school goes...working on my philosophy of education...not an easy task. I am having to ask myself some hard questions...
Fortunately, I am a blogger.
Introspection is what we live for! ;)

So, if anyone even still clicks here anymore....I am sorry for my lack of words lately.
I have clicked on the new post tab several times...
and clicked off.
Just couldn't find the words to say...haven't known where to start...
So, I will try to just jump right back in where I am in...
For now...
I'm off to class!


Tuesday, December 29, 2009

New Year Expectations


It's beginning to feel a lot like New Years... for one, infomercials for diet and exercise products do abound...

I always feel an anticipation for the new year. Not so much because I plan to get my act together and lose all the weight and get perfectly organized once and for all.
I used to.
But I know better now.

I, instead, like to spend time reflecting on what I've learned this past year and what I hope to accomplish in the next...not so much resolutions as much as "what has worked" and "what hasn't" and "what need's adjusting" ?

So, I'm going to be thinking on those things the next few days and get ready to celebrate 2010.

2010.


Here's to reflections and resolutions...


Saturday, December 19, 2009

You have to go read this...

Such a beautiful post at this time of year.
Then, when you finish reading this post, read her whole blog cause she's great.


Thursday, December 17, 2009

Unwinding...


My brain is on vacation y'all...I finally have time to write something meaningful...and have no mind to come up with anything...
I'll leave you with a little site I have been spending hours at (you'll see why when you get there):
Little Birdie Secrets has some of the cutest stuff...craft heaven.
meanwhile, I'll keep thinking of something to say...


Monday, December 14, 2009

New Favorite and Great Q & A

I found a new blog a while back and really can't remember how...fate I guess. ;) But I just love reading what Kari has to say...she is a school media specialist and knows about books in an amazing way...but it's the way she interprets the literature and places it in context of everyday...for people like me...that i just stop and soak in every word. So, when I was wondering about what to read and how to cure my reading problem (I address it below) I knew no one better to ask. Here is a copied and pasted version from her blog...

Through a Glass, Darkly:

Will make you think twice about asking me anything. Ever.

Cassandra asked some interesting questions in her comment a couple of weeks ago.

I fell into the trap that only Christian Psychological Self Help stuff warranted my time and attention…
So, what I think would make wonderful posts…is what classic authors/books should I, in my still recovering phase, read to expand my scope and comfort level? And why do many adults do what I did? Why do we feel guilty for reading fiction, and even guiltier (is that a word??LOL) for trying to philosophize the fiction we might talk ourselves into reading??

From my experience, I think we are often drawn to Christian self-help books because they have all the answers. They tell you how to fix your life. There is not necessarily a lot of nuance. But that is also the problem with them, that they tell you how to fix your life. And, actually, our lives are not really about being fixed. They are about being broken, about finding God in those broken things, about allowing him to use our brokenness. That’s not to say the entire genre is worthless, just that, for me personally, reading a non-fiction book about what the Bible says is never as compelling as seeing someone live out what they believe, whether that is a biography or in fiction. The world is gray. Jesus came and lived in the gray. For me, fiction is about making sense of the gray. I see the truths of what the Bible is saying much more easily in fiction. Jesus was telling parables for people like me.

So, to answer Cassandra’s question, here is Kari’s Completely Unscientific Non-Comprehensive List of Books That Say Important Things And Should Be Read, Not Necessarily By You, Specifically, But People Should Read Them. Notice That I Did Not Say Everybody Should Read Them Because I Don’t Like To Make Sweeping Judgments Like That. From here on out, we’ll call this list, uh, Kari’s List. For short. There is a lot more gray on this list than black-and-white. Not all of these deal explicitly with faith, but these are books that have nudged (or pushed) me in my thinking. It is not a comprehensive list, but it is what I have to share. With all the disclaimers over, I now present the list. I am doing it in one list because I think that people would get bored if I did four or five lists in a row, and I am not good at occasional lists.

Non-Fiction
Girl Meets God by Lauren Winner (This is in my top ten – her conversion story made me believe in my own story a little bit more.)
Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott (Also in my top ten – I needed this combination of sincerity and irreverence.)
Cloister Walk and Acedia and Me by Kathleen Norris (The first one really helped me through a bad time, and all of her books have been meaningful to me in different ways.)
Almost anything by Philip Yancey (Cannot sing his praises enough.)
The Crosswicks Journals by Madeleine L’Engle (My favorite author)
The Genesis Trilogy by Madeleine L’Engle (Still my favorite author)
Walking on Water by Madeleine L’Engle (This one is specifically about faith and art and helped me a lot when I wanted more out of Christian books/music than what I was getting.)
The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion (Important thoughts on death and dying.)
My Life with the Saints by James Martin (Good thoughts on the people who came before us in the faith.)
When Jesus Came to Harvard by Harvey Cox (I don’t remember why, I just remember liking it a lot.)
Wishful Thinking and Telling the Truth by Frederick Buechner (everyone needs more Buechner)
Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi (About the power of literature.)
A Long Obedience by Eugene Peterson (Who doesn’t love Eugene Peterson?)
Night by Elie Wiesel

Young Adult Books
The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling (My obsession is well documented, I think, but it was some of the most fun I have ever had.)
The Vicky Austin series by Madeleine L’Engle (Specifically The Moon by Night and A Ring of Endless Light – these are books that I still turn to when I am needing comfort reading.)
The Book Thief by Markus Zusak (This is a book that will change your life.)
Looking for Alaska by John Green (This is a book that changed my life. I am not sure if it will change yours but it just might.)
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants series by Ann Brashares (Some of the most honest and sincere books about friendship that I know.)
Story of a Girl by Sara Zarr (About what it means to be good and to be forgiven.)
Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
The Hunger Games and Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
Oldies but goodies: Dicey’s Song by Cynthia Voigt, Jacob Have I Loved by Katherine Patterson, The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton, The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier, and, oh, I don’t know, so many others.

Fiction
A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving (Oh God, please give him back, I shall keep asking you.)
The Mitford Series by Jan Karon (Yes, they are a little simple and cheesy, but they are so pleasant. Sometimes pleasant is very nice.)
The No. 1 Ladies’ Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith (Are about the goodness in the world. It doesn’t hurt that they are also incredibly hilariously dry.)
The Lord Peter mysteries by Dorothy Sayers (My favorite gentleman detective. Gaudy Night in particular is about love and relationships and intelligence in ways that move me every time, but you should not read that one first.)
The Patron Saint of Liars and Bel Canto by Ann Patchett (I haven’t read The Patron Saint of Liars, but Andrea has convinced me to put it on hold. Bel Canto is wonderful, though.)
Circle of Friends by Maeve Binchy (This book taught me about working at relationships and friendship when I thought that love, by itself, was enough.)
The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini (Just . . . read it.)
Father Melancholy’s Daughter and Evensong by Gail Godwin (Mature takes on faith and relationships.)
A Lesson Before Dying by Ernest Gaines (What does it mean to be a man?)
Possession by A.S. Byatt (Love and academia and poetry and sin.)
Life of Pi by Yann Martel (What is truth? And what is faith?)
The Secret Life of Bees by Sue Monk Kidd (This was actually not a favorite of mine, but it’s definitely worth reading.)
Some others, briefly: Digging to America by Anne Tyler, On Agate Hill by Lee Smith, The History of Love by Nicole Krauss, The Maytrees by Annie Dillard, Can’t Wait to Get to Heaven by Fannie Flagg. And I am particularly partial to The Beekeeper’s Apprentice by Laurie King.

Classic Fiction (without commentary, because they are classics and don’t need my endorsements)
Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky
Howard’s End by E.M. Forster
Brideshead Revisited by Evelyn Waugh
Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exuprey
The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien
Briefly: a little Dickens, a lot of Shakespeare, some Twain, some epic poetry, Virginia Woolf, Orwell, and, of course, Flannery O’Connor.

Okay, I thought about this for a couple of weeks, but what did I forget? What else do you recommend for Cassandra, and what do I sing the praises of that I have somehow left off this incredibly extensive list? (I feel so exposed.)